It's difficult to know where to begin with this new e-journal, so I've decided to just...well... type. November was the month of thanks, and like in 2012, some of my friends were Facebooking things they were thankful for each day. To me it felt so last year, so I did nothing. I am thankful for so many things, and even more so for the blessings I don't recognize. But saying thankyouthankyouthankyou doesn't mean much after awhile. True gratitude is an emotion that should demand attention from my mind, some contemplation and processing. Making a quick list - on FB or even in a journal - doesn't quite rise to that level.
One of my (many!) on-going spiritual struggles is keeping in the moment when reading devotionals, participating in Sunday school, listening to our pastor preach, or singing praise music. It's amazing how my body can be there, appropriate expression displayed on my face, even words coming out of my mouth, but my mind is somewhere else. If I compare my communication patterns with God to my communication patterns with others in my life, it's clear that it takes effort to not think about me when interacting with family and friends. I have to consciously move the me-thoughts aside to focus on the other(s). Sadly, it takes MORE effort to not think about me if the conversation is with God. Without a concrete, physical being right in my face, I can barely make it through 60 seconds without getting distracted! How pathetic is that!
Writing can help keep my mind focused. Sometimes. I do tend to get distracted by semantics and grammar. In this setting, that could be like focusing more on what I'll wear to church rather than my reason for being there. But I've felt a nudge to do this, to try and articulate the mishmash of thoughts on my spiritual growth in a print forum. In January 2013, when I started my first blog, I wondered if it should be for a Christian audience. Sometimes there were just things I wanted to say, but that space didn't seem to be the right one for them. It's not that my faith is a secret; most of the few who've been reading it know me. Maybe it was because I created that one primarily to work on the craft of writing. I really didn't have a plan for it beyond that. So I waited. The nudges kept coming.
I've been reading some Christian blogs. Generally they don't attract large audiences. Maybe that's how it should be. Maybe this space is mostly for me to explore my faith thoughts, and the audience beyond myself and God will be none. But I'm going to put this out there into cyberspace because I need to start somewhere. May as well start here.
Writing can help keep my mind focused. Sometimes. I do tend to get distracted by semantics and grammar. In this setting, that could be like focusing more on what I'll wear to church rather than my reason for being there. But I've felt a nudge to do this, to try and articulate the mishmash of thoughts on my spiritual growth in a print forum. In January 2013, when I started my first blog, I wondered if it should be for a Christian audience. Sometimes there were just things I wanted to say, but that space didn't seem to be the right one for them. It's not that my faith is a secret; most of the few who've been reading it know me. Maybe it was because I created that one primarily to work on the craft of writing. I really didn't have a plan for it beyond that. So I waited. The nudges kept coming.
I've been reading some Christian blogs. Generally they don't attract large audiences. Maybe that's how it should be. Maybe this space is mostly for me to explore my faith thoughts, and the audience beyond myself and God will be none. But I'm going to put this out there into cyberspace because I need to start somewhere. May as well start here.
#Christian, #Christianwriting, #Christianblog